"carry that weight"

I am looking for someone, a child perhaps. I am on school grounds and then heading toward the home of the person I am looking for. The sky above is colorless, everything around seems dark and glistening. An old Bates-like house stands off on its own, it's where I am headed. I begin in that direction, I am carrying a cooler-like box, it feels made of lead. I am walking across dark slippery rocks, downhill to get to the house. The weight and the slippery rocks scare me, but I continue.

The scene shifts and while I am still carrying the box, I am now in a stadium, walking the inside perimeter. People are staring down at me. Some I recognize from various chapters of my life, others are strangers. I am walking around and around, and then I am waiting in line. The line is longer than life.

I don't stick around to find out what I am waiting for, instead the scene shifts again and I am with a female relative. We are rummaging through a very, very messy room. One of my aunts is also nearby, she seems easy going and helpful, while my other relative is plain annoying. She is dictating to me, and in the mode of making me feel stupid. One such incident contains a book that my aunt throws in the room. The cover is deep blue and soothing looking, I reach for it and notice that the bottom half of the front cover is missing (looks like it has been chewed off). I am flipping through the book (the title has "Dog" in it) and reading the synopsis on the back, when my relative tells me all about it and the author. But the author she names is wrong and I mention it and point to the true author's name on the cover. She insists I am wrong and cannot see the truth. We continue rummaging, looking for craft books and she continues to point out ways in which I am dumber than her.