Electric, horses

Gathered in a large home with expansive grounds. The home apparently belongs to my family. There is minimal lighting inside. I wander around, and in my little brother's room find a switch and turn it on. A bulb appears dangling from the ceiling (kind of track lighting ?) and it gives off a fluorescent blue light. One of my older brothers appears and we decide it will be a night light, for the light illuminates the long hall outside of the room. Meanwhile, our younger brother is outside with a crew of friends and folk. There is a race set to begin: horses and cars and bikes. I am a little nervous that my daredevil brother will get himself hurt showing off. The house is surrounded by a large circular gravel drive. There are parks on the grounds too. I walk outside trying to catch a glimpse of my brother among the racers; I cannot tell who is who. The race begins and I make my way across the estate to the other side by benches, and where the drive expands into the width of a real street. Horses are charging down, cars are zooming, and I am worried all the while. I keep scanning the racers when I finally catch sight of my brother: he is jogging! A sense of relief and surprise overcomes me.
I am then running down a lush green path with a male friend. He is on his phone with his girlfriend assuring her that we are on a work assignment. We are running and running when I suddenly see ahead a large tree splitting through the roof of a big house. I stop my friend just before he steps on an electrical wire, and remind him of what happened to my brother's landscaping friends (true story). We peer down and can see children playing inside the home. We decide to go down and see what has happened. We carefully make our way inside of the home, and find the children and a mother. She doesn't seem at all surprised that we have climbed inside her house. She shows us around briefly, but mentions nothing of the tree. She seems to want us to stay. I begin to feel uneasy, and my friend has disappeared and so have my shoes. I tell her I must go and begin to climb out of her home when she tells me that I can walk out of the door. She is sitting before a television, and has a movie paused, I don't want to keep her from watching it so I make my way quickly to the door. The house is really an apartment I realize once outside the door in the building hall. I find my way outside and find a huge unpaved lot. It is industrial looking there except for the house. I begin to run across the rocky lot, barely touching it fearful of glass and wary of the deep puddles.
I make my way to the street and up ahead see a shopping plaza. I notice there is a Kmart there and think of how I can buy a pair of flip flops - should I ask a stranger outside to do so for me, or risk breaking the "no shirt, no shoes" service rule. I remember this Kmart from another dream; I have been here before. I grow a little relieved knowing that I only need to walk a few miles on the road ahead to make it home.

Piss and Rings and Things

Gathered at a large school of sorts, I am among a group of volunteers cleaning up. Each room we walk in stinks of piss, namely because there are dogs throughout the building and they piss where they want to. Small dogs, big dogs, all dogs show no shame in their habits, nor any inclination to make change. We work from room to room with mops and brooms, hoping to clean the air of the sick sour smell. A few of us, after mopping and scrubbing, find our way to the very top floor. It can barely be seen from floor belows even though the space above the stairs is completely open - the ceiling does not make any appearance in the stairwell (front room) until the very top of the building. There are deep wood railings tracing the rambling of the steps and at the very top, this railing cordons the top floor. My interest is piqued when I notice a library on the top floor. I mention this to a friend, she decides to come with me, even though she cannot see the library. We work our way up the stairs, finally come to the top floor and it is a scene from king's quarters: dark wood and rich velvet, purples and reds. We walk through the area; it is in a circle shape, accounting for the entire building (round) ... there are gowns from centuries ago set up on busts, books alive in leather bound, beds - 4-posts. I pull a gown off of a bust and hold it to my body, it is a deep shade of plum and weighs much. It then that we notice men watching us, the "staff" - we have mistakenly stumbled into an area where we aren't supposed to be. The men give chase and we hustle to disappear, after haphazardly replacing the gown.
Later, when recovered from the scene, we are sitting with friends, one of whom is my cousin. She is excited to share with us the details of her wedding, and we listen closely, seeing her words. She then shows us her wedding ring that has just arrived: it is gold with a large opaque red stone. Oddly she is wearing it on her right hand, on her pinkie. We tel her that she should be wearing it on her ring finger, but she doesn't know which finger that is. One of the girls shows her, but when she places the ring on that finger, the stone breaks off. I pick up the stone and press it to the gold band, hoping it isn't truly split from it.

no reply

For two nights in a row I had dreams regarding "teamwork". I was linked with a group of people - some known in real life, others known only in dreams - to perform tasks. The first night found us in a dirt mall given the task of finding the perfect dress. The group I was with rummaged rack after rack. I wandered down the aisles unimpressed and a little confused. The second night's dreams of tasks has grown cloudier - I remember almost nothing while sitting here staring at the screen.
Last night's dreams were odd:
What I remember most clearly is showering in a stand-up shower. The doors were glazed glass and I kept watching the clock through them, afraid I was late to work. I could only see the last two digits on the clock, :27 ... I kept telling myself that it was the 7am hour, but truly feared that it was 10:27 and that I was outrageously late to work. I kept telling myself that that is what I get for partying... although I had no memory of partying (a really good party, indeed). There was a line of dark towels hanging over the doors - blues and browns. One by one I noticed that they were drenched, having fallen into the shower when I turned to shampoo my hair. I was quite annoyed and tried wringing them out while still in the shower. Their weight was a nuisance, and the shower water prevented me from making any headway with the wringing.
Once out of the shower I am with a coworker, KL. She assures me that I am not late and that I should stop for a piece of pizza. I agree with her and we head into a pizza shop. She orders my piece and I think that I should have it to go, but she again assures me there is no need to rush. The pizza is huge and as I carry it to our table it drapes over my arm, losing its juices. No napkin. No plate.
I find myself next in a theater, sitting among folks I don't know, when suddenly my husband appears beside me. We are then walking through the theater, looking for our seats. We find them and when I turn to talk to my husband, he has disappeared and my old friend, KM, is in his place. Her right cheek is facing me and I notice that her skin has aged and acne is ruling it. She looks worse for wear. She is talking non-stop, and telling me how all of the folks gathered have come to make love to her. I have no reply to offer.

so slight

My bit from last night, is just that --- a bit:

I am going to a nightclub with my gal pal, JM. We arrive and the entrance is caged: a fence surrounds it, and we must climb a fence set of steps... we climb and at the "door" (more fence, this time with a gate) the young lady asks for our ID. My friend goes through the door, but for some reason I am forced to climb over it. Mid-climb, my left leg becomes stuck -- it has somehow been caught in the fence. I remain dangling as other guests walk by...

List O Dreams

When I'm feeling lazy, as I do now, I tend to rely on the old "list" --- its succinctness keeps me interested and unattached, also, I decided to give a brief origin of where I believe these dreams may have been born. Here goes:

1. My late sister's naked, dead body is on display; settled on top of a car, her body is being taken through a center of town. I want to cover her up, but cannot catch up with the car.
Yesterday I spent some time thinking about my sister, in death, most particularly, I was thinking about her autopsy and then her cremation. Both thoughts bother me deeply; I picture vulnerable, defenseless bodies --- my sister's body --- and I hope that the people who tended to her were kind and not monsters. I read a horrible and gross account of things that may have happened to Marilyn Monroe when she died and was struck by disgust and images that won't stay from my head.

2. My husband is a jerk; he allows another woman to play with his hair and when I come around I find a thousand berets in his hair. The woman is a friend in real life, but in the dream she is a trouble maker, and my husband is, like in so many other dreams, oblivious to my concern.
These dreams really, REALLY annoy me. They almost make me think I am crazy. The thing is is that my husband and I are harmonious 99% of the time; when we do argue it's typically short-lived... still I have these insecure dreams...

3. A cousin of mine is on the phone with me; while I've been looking for the perfect dress for some important event, she has been sitting on her butt. An aunt apparently calls her and tells her about the perfect dress for me, but she decides that she is going to keep the dress because she has lost weight - which she hasn't. The dress is dark blue meshed with darker blue and strapless... I am annoyed with her but say nothing.
I'm wearing pink to my cousin's upcoming reception...and dress shopping with another cousin for hers in the near future.

ghost

The beginning of my dream finds me among high school people who were not my friends. We are wandering through a park, and my wedding ring is causing a commotion: am I really married in high school? I half dig, half denounce the attention. A few of us girls are dancing on the ledge of a fountain: twisting, though the song is not insinuating we should be twisting.
Then I am in a room with people who I don't recognize; there are large piles of laundry to be sorted, almost all of it is blue. An old friend shows up and says she'd like to take a blue piece of material as a tablecloth. I am helping her, and suggest that she not take blue, because her whole house is blue. I leave with her, and we place the cloth over her battered wood picnic table --- the cloth looks lovely (light yellow with big bright flowers), but it is not large enough for the table, so we must return for more cloth.
My mother is waiting around for me. We are in the neighborhood where I went to high school; I find her staring out of my old bedroom window. She wants to go gather the remainder of my late sister's belongings from her old house. Knowing the condition of the place, I tell her I do not want to go with her. Plus, I am secretly hoping that my sister's ghost will appear and yell at my mom.
Meanwhile, I am supposed to be looking at a new apartment; I have a few friends with me and when we enter the apartment they start doing laundry and turning on the TV. I'm a little nervous because I don't want the landlord to think I am rude and irresponsible... as I am checking out a large bathroom off of the kitchen area, my friend, DB, comes to tell me someone is banging at the door: a small, arched doorway, when I open the door, the landlord is standing there. He's a tall man with kinky black hair and a hook nose, he looks Mediterranean. He doesn't seem to mind my friends laying about.

lost in the play

In a city I don't recognize, I wait patiently in a crowded book shop. I sit on a small flight of stairs and stare out of the large windows and watch the rain travel to us. There are shoppers throughout. We are all going to make our way over to the local auditorium/theater for some fun... at the theater I am sitting front row with some girlfriends. Students of mine are onstage, dancing and cartwheeling. It's a festive scene until some of the girls, onstage, begin to falter, and fall. The audience is laughing -- cracking up -- and the girls grow red and weepy. I am laughing too --- it isn't that the girls are falling, but how serious they are about their dances. It reminds me of my own childhood. I am leaning over in my chair, when one of my girlfriend mentions that George Clooney is in the audience. I turn around, and directly behind me sits George and a few other celebrity men. I grow red this time. I turn back around, and the show is ending. The room falls silent, and we realize there is no "MC" --- at my feet there is a "sound box" and a microphone. I pick up the mic and make a few comments about the students and thank everyone for coming out.
The End.

Bears and Brothers and Hitchcock, O my!

Various bits:
At my eldest sister's, hanging out in her garage when suddenly a big angry bear arrives and chases everyone inside. I am the last in line and I turn immediately upon entering the house through the garage to slam the door in his face and hold my body against it. He is so strong my whole body bounces against the wood while trying to stand strong; soon though he begins busting through the skinny wood door. I wait, and when I feel ready, I swiftly release the door and go through another and slam that one shut. This door is mostly wooden, but has a square glass window cut into it; I can now see the bear as he angrily tries to get inside. I am incredibly frightened and no one is around to help me as the bear begins to break through the glass...(at this point, my husband wakes me in real life because I've been crying out).
I am then in my childhood home; the house is being completely renovated and so there are many strangers moving through the halls and rooms. One larger blond woman, in particular, is showing me around... everyone seems engrossed in his/her work. The living-room is being changed into the kitchen - as you enter through the front door there are white cabinets and counters on the left wall --- two empty spaces in the cabinet line-up, I am told are for a washer/dryer combo.
I continue through the house and make my way to the master bedroom --- it is now much larger than it was, and while my Mom's bed is where it was 20-some years ago, the rest of the room resembles a warehouse, or factory. There are chairs scattered throughout, and young men resting on them. My Mom is there, looking disheveled. Everyone is waiting around for my little brother. Finally he shows and sinks into one of the chairs. He has a hat on - a rustic looking hat, and through the cutout top his hair is peeking through: orange dreadlocks. I make a comment about his hair and he laughs and tips his head forward to show off the new hair. I sit in a seat and there is a lamp beside me, someone mentions that this seat is meant for my brother --- the lamp moves freely and I move it from my right side to my left. There is a large mirror that extends from it, so that one can watch themselves - sit?
In my last scene I am with my tap instructor from college. We are working on some kind of journalism/investigation. We are walking through a quiet, old town --- it seems to resemble a Hollywood set - everything seems cardboard thin. We are going to a theater to see some work; when we arrive we are met by numerous men in waiter uniforms, and they are telling us to sign our names so that we can see "Psycho" for free... we get to see it for free because apparently the company we are working for has donated $200-and-some to the theater. My instructor doesn't seem too impressed, or happy, about this arrangement, as though it goes against our ethics. We are then told that later we too will need to make a contribution.

Ridiculous

Walking through my childhood neighborhood; I leave the yard of an old friend and go walking alone. I come to a steep hill that seems to run like an alley through a dusty, dirty patch of space closed-in by large, crumbling homes. There is a group of students who are striding down the hill, at first I begin to follow them, thinking that BGC must be near by, but then I turn, and walk back up the hill. I am in a classroom setting, but we are all adults. My friend CG is there with an attractive boy friend. He is flirting with me and I am trying to behave, or at least not let on that I enjoy his attention. When the class departs, he and I have sex on the lab table we were sitting.

Then I am in a boutique where the flighty woman who runs it is desperately trying to sell me the latest fashions: blue boots that ooze like jelly on my feet, clear plastic bubble shoes, and other crazy sorts. I am not interested in buying any, but I continue to try them on in the hopes of finding something redeemable in her stock.

I end up in a garage/apartment where my mom is living. It is dimly lit. My little brother has apparently robbed her and we are watching video footage of the crime. We can only see my mom though; she's like Michael Jackson - her face is covered with bandages and she is wearing a towel/scarf over her head and face. She looks as though she has had plastic surgery, with her nose gauzed-up. She moves as if stuck in slow motion. Finally, my brother arrives and he is trying to state his case. His hair has fallen out, and so there are only little wisps (like on a newborn) and there are pimples all over. I worry that this is a result of the drugs: his hair and his behavior.

In real life: welcome, SPRING!

Back in the city

I am very excited to be moving back to the city in last night's dream. And I keep wondering where my husband will put all of his things, and how I talked him into this. The apartment we choose is long and dark, my friend DH apparently use to live in it and she is showing me all of the lamps. The windows have bars on them and this makes me happy because I think that it will prevent any intruders from getting in. While the front of the apartment is street level, as I move deeper into the apartment and look out of the windows, I find that we are now a floor above the road. It is very dim throughout.

In the next scene, I am on a city street waiting in line. A long line, for what? I am dressed in a long, slinky black dress/suit, and spiked heels. I recognize faces from elementary school, high school. Behind me in line is my friend, V, alive again, and speaking a mix of Spanish and gibberish. She seems happy and caught up in her imaginary world.

chaos

Flaky bits of dreaming:
I am working in the lingerie department of a huge department store, and while I am supposed to be working, I am shopping. I tug a huge cart through the crowded store. My boss comes across me and I have to pretend that I am re-shelving the items in my cart. I wander around looking for the perfect dump site for my cart; I end up in a narrow hall filled with old ladies and designer clothes. I wait for their attention to lose me and ditch the cart; I am replacing an armful of bras to their racks, "working".
Next I am at my real job, only the room is hysterical; on top of the usual younger students in the class, there are a load of older, louder students piled around various tables. Our staff is unable to gain control of the room, while I am initially preoccupied with the condition of our materials closet. I soon turn my attention to a young co-worker, CD, and she tells me that she is pregnant. I immediately ask how her boyfriend dealt with this unexpected news, she is wishy-washy with the details. I then go about the task of calming the room; I raise my voice to the rafters and wait to gain control. I then shoo away the older talkers (nearly getting into a fistfight with one young surly student) and deal with my own students.
Then I am lost in London, on the tube. I am sitting among a group of strange, but attractive, men. They assure me I will be alright, but as the night comes on, I begin to grow more and more fearful that I will not ever be reunited with my group. I finally make my way back to the museum(?) where I last saw people I know, but there is no trace of familiar faces. The large old building is eerie and growing darker.

he is a water sign

My first bit of dream is back in my high school neighborhood. I am at the home of my good friend, V. I am with her mom who is still visibly wounded by the loss of her oldest daughter. She asks a favor of me: acquire V's death certificate and then bring it to school so that her death is confirmed and she will not be listed as a delinquent. I do as asked and when I am holding the slip of death I notice that it lists V's death as July 1, 1991 (she was killed 10 years later, in real life) and I am confused, but seeing her mother torn by grief I decide not to bring up the discrepancy. Plus, I have no idea what year this dream is taking place --- it feels older, but I have no reference outside of the certificate.

In the next bit, me and a few others are chasing a husky golden retriever up a massive hill. There are plunges and holes so we must be careful. The dog is in frolic-y heaven. Once at the top, we turn and look back and in the middle of the faded-grassy field there is a pool of silver-blue water. One-by-one by cohorts dive in. I'm a little less bold. It takes me whole minutes to decide to do it. Once I pierce the skin of the water I feel weightless as imagined. My husband soon appears and we begin having sex underwater. After a few clumsy attempts, my husband stands up, annoyed, and exclaims, "Well, that settles it --- we're definitely married now!"

the 13th of October

I don't know that I have any one long thread of dream, but here are some various bits:

Walking to a party with my eldest sister, K, and a man who resembles a guy I went to high school with. I am not married but engaged to some man who is never around; his work has him away all the time and walking with this other man to the party makes me reconsider my desire to marry the moving man. We arrive at the party and I know no one. I have forgotten the cake.

Next, I am at a music festival. I don't recognize the music. There is an older woman who has slunk away from the show and I follow her backstage; she is lingering at the door to the lead acts dressing room. I notice she is crying. She smells his clothes and fingers various items in the room. She then settles in the hall outside and begins singing a sad country song. I am hidden behind mounds of fabric and her voice melts me. I try to remain concealed, worry I'll frighten, or anger, her, but we make eye contact and I tell her how beautiful her song and singing are.

I am with my husband and another unknown male. I am readying for a shower, prancing around in a long t-shirt and panties. My husband and the other guy are playing records for one another, showing off their collections and taste. In the hallway, I am having sex with a female stranger. The hallway is so slender it barely has room for our hips.

I am in the house where I nanny-ed 3 children a decade ago. I am calling the family on a Sunday, even though I know they will be busy with church and brunch and family, to find out the birthday of the eldest son, N. I cannot remember if it is 10/12 or 10/13... his father tells me the date and invites me to a birthday dinner at N's house in Philadelphia. I am surprised that N is living on his own in the city.

Update: Dreams do come TRUE

Just as I finished writing today's entry my cousin M called and told me she and her man, D, are eloping in May.... they will hold a picnic celebration later in the month in her Mom's BACKYARD (her mom is my Aunt T - see post below) and that her mom is in charge of the flowers/decor....
HAPPY WEIRD, huh?
Congratulations M & D!

A Tulip-y Turn of Events

I figured this morning I'd have some dark dreams to share: while my husband fell into his heavy sleep, I read from the Unsolved Mysteries Encyclopedia his friend had given me over dinner. And, then there's the missing younger brother, R. Long story short:R's ex had his baby Thursday night, and then decided my brother shouldn't see her. R, and his selfish smarts, then decided to go missing (typical addict behavior) from Saturday morning onward (I still have no official word from my Mother that he's arrived, but I just got off the phone with his drug buddy who I tracked down)... this disease baffles me; how can my brother stand in my kitchen Tuesday night sounding sensible and loving and even excited about his daughter's pending arrival and then only days later last be seen or heard from on a bad corner in N. Philadelphia. (the detective work my husband and I did this weekend was ridiculous)... and now he is probably back with my Mom, the Mother who sat on her couch telling me she knows he's dead, but won't call the police, or anyone else and well, that's it. I'm done. I went to sleep last night with the grossest and most shattering images in my head, and then I had this dream:

In a little town with cobble-stone streets and cottage-like houses close to the road (Banbury, England??), me and a few others walk from one establishment to the next. In the back yard of one restaurant-cottage there is a celebration on, and some of my family is there. My Aunt T has decorated the yard with tulips: every inch of the yard has vases filled with all colors of bright tulips. Walking is a little difficult because each time I turn I knock over a vase and quickly turn it back rightly.

la lunatic

For the most part my dreams and their scenarios make sense as far as how I see those people, or things I fear about those people (Ms. Insecurity)... but my dream last night about my friend, JKM, comes out of nowhere; nothing about her in real life, or in our dynamic, points to this dream. It wasn't horrible, just peculiar:

I am meeting up with my friend, she is at her house and wants me to come there. When I arrive everything is different from her real house - it's more like a cheap, bland motel, and her husband is there --- whereas in real life he doesn't make too many appearances. Also, there seems the constant threat of an intruder... We are going over writing, and she is clutching a folded piece of paper. Apparently that paper has work of mine on it - I have no idea. Little by little our meeting becomes edgy and JKM seems fitful and restless. Suddenly she is yelling at me, not all of it makes sense but it has something to do with my writing. I somehow have the slip of paper she was clutching in my hand now and she is pissed, she's telling me I must give it to her and she is trying to tear it from my hand...
and then we appear in a garden patio setting. Her husband and another man, both dressed in white, are sitting at a four-top patio table. We join them and without any clear transition the "doctor" begins addressing us about JKM's illness and lists off the various psycho-tropic medications she is taking --- apparently she is a schizophrenic.

In the next sequence I am wandering around outside my old high school. The sun is setting and one of my younger students is lurking by me. I am smoking a joint, walking and walking --- waiting for someone or something. When I start to feel a little high I toss the joint under a green min-van, parked beside the school. I walk away from the evidence, but later sweat with worry that the evidence will be uncovered when whoever it was that parked there moves their van...

in the garage

In the garage, at the home I lived in while attending high school. It's me, my husband, an old mutual friend of ours and her boyfriend. The three of them are walking around a car that is suspended midair. I make my way to my husband and Flowerdrop (we'll call our old friend) is hanging (literally) all over my husband. I make a face at him to indicate my annoyance; he is oblivious to my impatience and annoyance with this scenario.
The next scene: me and some family members are in a huge house/apt in my childhood neighborhood in Phila area. It is at the corner of Avenues G and Quarry (I think, if not, you won't know the difference). --- I mention this location because I have dreamed this house/apt before a while back though I don't recall the details now. It's kind of strange because there is a house standing where I keep dreaming in this pale stuccoed building. --- The apt, again is on the top floor - it runs the length of the whole top floor and there are windows along each wall, you can look out on Avenue G, or Quarry. (I think the windows were important in the last dream at this location because we were hiding from someone and kept a look-out)
This time in the dream I am with my little brother, his father (who died in 1999) and our cousin K. It actually seems that K and my brother and a few other relatives are living in this house, and I am visiting. They are showing me around and the place is quite palatial. There are two bathrooms in the master bedroom, various backstairs and many more comfortably furnished big rooms. There is a problem with light bulbs though. Many of the fixtures or lamps are without luminance, and me being the neurotic fixer, I go about the hunt for light bulbs. There are none, and this lack of light/lighting bothers me throughout the dream.
Later we are sitting at a long table. Two of our aunts are there: T and K. Everyone is in a light-hearted mood, joking and laughing. Then come some stories about mischief, or misgivings ... one such story involves me and Aunt T pretending to get married. All at the table laugh at this ridiculous idea, but I'm a little confused as to why we would make up such a story in the first place. No one cares to examine the weird story any further.

Islands of Seals

I woke and readied myself to share the dream sequences I can recall, but first stop was to call cousin M (who I attribute today's blog title to) to learn the ways of my new french press (I don't read directions). And now some bits, long and short:
I'm in a crowd; I recognize no one initially, we are apart of some class who is given different tasks to perform. Our first task is to decipher problems in the cellar of an old house. A small group of us gathers at the doorway to the cellar; we open the door cautiously, the smell of mildew reaches us as expected, and as our eyes search down the dark stairs we then notice a large and angry seal. He is plopped at the bottom of the stairs and he is angrily staring and grunting up at us. We all grow a bit hysterical and the seal then begins to plow toward us. We slam the door just as he reaches the top and his head almost peeks through the edge of the door. He slams his body against the other side of the door, and the door convulses beneath our bodies held against it. He then manages to get the door slightly open and gets his head through. We scramble for the lock and find some wire that we use to further secure the door. He continues to grunt angrily. Although his head continues to be lodged, he is unable to break his way through the door. We head toward a ship where our instructors await us. I am still with my smaller group, which consists of a couple of younger girls and one guy. It becomes apparent that the guy and I are smarter and far more capable to undertake the tasks assigned, and so we forge a partnership. We sit side by side in the well-lighted "classroom" as we are given our next assignments.
In the next bit of dream I am with my husband and we are traveling in a foreign city at night. We walk inside a long tunnel, and there are men on our right side selling clothing in the tight tunnel. Despite walking with my husband they call out to me. We rush through and make our way into the rain-slicked city. For some reason we duck inside a battered van, in the back we have raucous sex, and my moaning sounds like singing so much that my husband jokes about my arias... on our way back through the tunnel, when we pass the men my husband walks very closely behind me, nearly sticking to me in an attempt to cover my backside, he places his hands on my bottom because we have forgotten my pants.
Next I am in a large parking lot in the area of Warminster. I am waiting for a bus with many others. One of the other passengers in one of my students and she is mocking French-speaking passengers. I want to approach her and tell to stop being rude, but her mother is there and intimidates me, and obviously is oblivious to her daughter's rude behavior. Buses that look like trolleys pull up: they are dark wood and old men are driving them. I need to get a bus that will take me on to my transfer. I ask the drivers which bus will do so and they tell me that the one will take me to Harvard, while the other will go on ... I'm not sure what any of this means and so I climb aboard the bus that I hope will take me where I need to go. Rather than find a seat, I remain standing near the door. One of the passengers then tells me I am on the wrong bus.

Snooze

I have a human snooze button: my husband. Unless he is leaving for work at quarter to seven, he rises, starts his day (breakfast, exercise and reading) and then wakes me. Only all this week I refuse waking, so I am constantly sending him away with the request to return in ten--fifteen--thirty minutes. He's dear to oblige me.
That said, my dreams these last few nights are like patchwork, and foggy.
What I do remember from last night are these bits:

A reunion with two girlfriends - one I still speak with in waking life, the other I do not/have not since summer time. We are together in a foreign country, for some reason I believe it is Germany - I must hear German around us. The room where we are staying is dark and though there are big windows all around, there is no sun to shine in. There is tension in the room, though we're all doing our best to deny it (I think the second part of that sentence is a Dylan lyric..."Visions of Johanna") ...I remember very little else.
Not too enticing/exciting, huh?

I will rise like an obedient soldier tomorrow morning and begin anew, wholeheartedly transcribing all of the bits I recall.

At the cemetery

one bit: my oldest sister and my husband and I go to the cemetery where my other sister, M, is buried. We search a long time in the vast stone sea for her grave site. We find my maternal grandfather's stone finally (she is buried with him) but it seems more like a cheap plastic tackle box. It still has "I'll Be Seeing You" scrawled across the face, but only has three small initials on the side, marked for my sister. At the top of the grave marking there is a candle burning: a glass jar with some sort of thick gel inside mixed with what looks like water; the candle apparently never goes out. The insides of it seem to move, undulate. When I look at it for a while I notice the shape of my sister's face. It's as if her face is being pressed into the thick gel, leaving a fossil of sorts.