My first dream finds me at the ob/gyn. My doctor is a young guy; he's handsome but he ain't Dr. George Clooney. He begins his work by "massaging" my labia. In mere seconds I am excited and he thrusts me off of the examination table and we go at it passionately.
In the next scene I am wandering around a long dark country lane. I have no shoes on, so I am sliding around on a piece of cardboard to keep from getting muddy or cut on broken glass. I know no one and no one seems interested in helping me return home. An older man has his car idling by the entrance and I ask him where he is headed. He tells me toward "route 312". I think to myself that must be near my home because routes 212 & 412 are near it. I ask him if his travels take him in the direction of the town I live in, and tells me emphatically, no! I don't believe him and sulk and continue down the dark country lane.
I walk for hours.
Finally I make my way into town and enter the apartment building where I am living. The hallway is long and is broken up by short chunks of steps. I essentially have to walk through my neighbors apartment to get to my own, at least when going this way. Everything is white - bright white. As I walk up I notice the Kardashian family (I am ashamed to admit I know who they are, thanks Chelsea Handler) is seated on a big cushy white sofa watching television. My mom is with them and seems to fit in perfectly. I say hi and continue to my apartment.
When I get inside my apartment is quite opposite the halls - everything is low lit and warm; one of my lamps have burned out, I continue through the apartment and when I get to the front find that while the larger wood door is securely shut, the wrought iron "screen door" is blowing open in the breeze. It is dark outside and I try to turn on the porch light - it takes a few flips of the switch to get it on. I am worried that someone is lurking nearby. I retrace my steps and find a window open in a side room. I immediately bolt out of the back door, back into the bright white hallway and find the Kardashians. I see that they have no intention of rising from their seat, or stirring from the television, but I try anyway. I ask them sweetly if they will return to my apartment to look through it with me and ensure that no one is hiding there. I make lavish promises, but they seem interested not at all.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Everything eggplant
I am wandering through a neighborhood I don't recognize. There are reports that a family has abandoned their home; I come upon the home and the garage unit/apartment attached to it. The yard is in disarray and through the undressed windows I can see clothes strewn and mattresses splayed about. There are clothes hung on the wall too; my eyes catch sight of a one-piece shiny eggplant-colored suit. I get a closer look and frown to find it is a size 1. I move on and realize there are people nearby watching me. I rush away, nervous for unknown reasons.
I find myself in a convenient store and at once begin my search for ice cream. There is a counter with a soft ice cream server, but all of the cones are mushy and look like they are covered in dirt. I stare at them unhappily - I really wanted some damn ice cream.
Next I find myself in a large, old apartment building; all of the walls leading up the steep steps are eggplant. At the top I come across, S, an old friend who is pregnant. She wants to show me her apartment, but instead we remain in a large hall just outside her door. Everywhere there is a pile of mess, and the walls again are eggplant, though glossy here.
I find myself in a convenient store and at once begin my search for ice cream. There is a counter with a soft ice cream server, but all of the cones are mushy and look like they are covered in dirt. I stare at them unhappily - I really wanted some damn ice cream.
Next I find myself in a large, old apartment building; all of the walls leading up the steep steps are eggplant. At the top I come across, S, an old friend who is pregnant. She wants to show me her apartment, but instead we remain in a large hall just outside her door. Everywhere there is a pile of mess, and the walls again are eggplant, though glossy here.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Thank you, Dahling
Bits: I am making a movie in France with Geo. Clooney. We barely speak to one another but stand with a faceless other in a small circle and laugh - big, belly laughs. We then walk through a beautiful French park. I am wearing heels and am exceptionally tall, my long legs are exposed. We walk along Champs Elyees, and I feel at home.
We end up in a science lab room and the director from my graduate program is there. He tells me that he thinks I am the most attractive woman in the program (ew).
I somehow become involved with Sinatra and Dino. We are at a car dealership watching through a large window as the vehicles in the lot are moved around. A giant truck is parked right before the window with two smaller trucks nestled close. Someone puts a bag over the smaller trucks and they disappear.
I lose interest watching the cars and leave. I walk down a hall and end in my childhood bedroom. I stand before a mirror and realize I still have my sexy costume from the French film on. I begin to play with it and fondle my body. I begin a strip tease. The window is wide open and there is no curtain. I see a few faraway faces and wonder if they are watching me. Suddenly the house is in the air and I am flying (in the flying house) over the field --- it is expansive, the small group I realize is a much larger range of groups. People are playing games, laughing and someone has dressed up in a costume. Two pre-teens are arguing over who gets to have their picture taken with the costumed entity.
In the last scene I am with my husband who tells me this story: as he is leaving my work parking lot he sees a woman from his work out of the corner of his eye (I don't like this woman). He continues on to his next destination and when he returns to his car, the woman is sitting in the driver's seat of his car in a raincoat. She placed a long rope in a ringed-pile by the front tire. (Creepy)
We end up in a science lab room and the director from my graduate program is there. He tells me that he thinks I am the most attractive woman in the program (ew).
I somehow become involved with Sinatra and Dino. We are at a car dealership watching through a large window as the vehicles in the lot are moved around. A giant truck is parked right before the window with two smaller trucks nestled close. Someone puts a bag over the smaller trucks and they disappear.
I lose interest watching the cars and leave. I walk down a hall and end in my childhood bedroom. I stand before a mirror and realize I still have my sexy costume from the French film on. I begin to play with it and fondle my body. I begin a strip tease. The window is wide open and there is no curtain. I see a few faraway faces and wonder if they are watching me. Suddenly the house is in the air and I am flying (in the flying house) over the field --- it is expansive, the small group I realize is a much larger range of groups. People are playing games, laughing and someone has dressed up in a costume. Two pre-teens are arguing over who gets to have their picture taken with the costumed entity.
In the last scene I am with my husband who tells me this story: as he is leaving my work parking lot he sees a woman from his work out of the corner of his eye (I don't like this woman). He continues on to his next destination and when he returns to his car, the woman is sitting in the driver's seat of his car in a raincoat. She placed a long rope in a ringed-pile by the front tire. (Creepy)
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
phew
I made it to 32.
My memory of last night's dreams has momentarily lapsed, should I recall them I'll share.
Last night was another poetry reading and workshop. Me and one of the members of that workshop are thinking out loud about starting another workshop, to compliment the monthly one, but also to instigate more writing. We'd like to meet much more often, if not once a week, then biweekly.
I've been sending out work to literary journals and magazines. I keep in mind Bukowski, as I await responses:
hell is a closed door
even when starving
the rejection slips hardly ever bothered me:
I only believed that the editors were
truly stupid
and I just went on and wrote more and
more.
My memory of last night's dreams has momentarily lapsed, should I recall them I'll share.
Last night was another poetry reading and workshop. Me and one of the members of that workshop are thinking out loud about starting another workshop, to compliment the monthly one, but also to instigate more writing. We'd like to meet much more often, if not once a week, then biweekly.
I've been sending out work to literary journals and magazines. I keep in mind Bukowski, as I await responses:
hell is a closed door
even when starving
the rejection slips hardly ever bothered me:
I only believed that the editors were
truly stupid
and I just went on and wrote more and
more.
Monday, April 20, 2009
M&M
Working with Eminem on his writing; he has been unable to write and so he contacted me to help him climb his writer's block. We work at a small desk together; I write out his lyrics in an attempt to jog his creativity. He tells me that he wants to adopt a fresh voice/perspective in his lyrics, I still suggest that he read through his old work, both for inspiration and to recognize the parts he does not want in his new work. Slowly, but surely, he begins to feel the urge to write.
Going to the doctors (OB/GYN). Sitting on the examination table, my male doctor is chatting with me, and then explaining the procedure he is going to perform. I am stiff with fear. He tells me that my last results confirm that I have cystic fibrosis, and he inserts a tube into my vagina. I am certain that he is wrong, and I begin to tell him that the results are not mine, or that the information has been tainted. He goes on explaining the procedure. The scene jumps and I am following him through a maze of offices. We end in a small white office and he begins to kiss and fondle me. It all happens quickly and then he vanishes. I begin running through the halls looking for him.
It turns out a group of us are trapped inside the office building. We can look through windows and see life going on outside, but no one outside can see us. We're like ghosts. Then we find a fire escape that leads down to a large lot with parked cars. We make our way down and into one of the cars. We flee the lot and begin racing along a highway; police are hot on our trail.
Going to the doctors (OB/GYN). Sitting on the examination table, my male doctor is chatting with me, and then explaining the procedure he is going to perform. I am stiff with fear. He tells me that my last results confirm that I have cystic fibrosis, and he inserts a tube into my vagina. I am certain that he is wrong, and I begin to tell him that the results are not mine, or that the information has been tainted. He goes on explaining the procedure. The scene jumps and I am following him through a maze of offices. We end in a small white office and he begins to kiss and fondle me. It all happens quickly and then he vanishes. I begin running through the halls looking for him.
It turns out a group of us are trapped inside the office building. We can look through windows and see life going on outside, but no one outside can see us. We're like ghosts. Then we find a fire escape that leads down to a large lot with parked cars. We make our way down and into one of the cars. We flee the lot and begin racing along a highway; police are hot on our trail.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Zoom zoom zoom
bit: my husband buys me a new car, but it's a big (stupid) SUV. We take it for a spin through an unfamiliar part of town; the off and on ramps of the highway are sharp curves. The steering is great, but I realize that I cannot see out of the backside on the driver's side: huge blind spot. We continue on without accident and end up parked outside of a department store. We go inside. When we return to the vehicle we find that we parked right outside of the door, and we have not only left the ignition on and the stereo blaring, but I have the driver's door wide open. We hop in and traverse through the unfamiliar city. The buildings are beautiful and old. The sidewalks are white and clean. There seems to be a peacefulness to the city.
Next we are in my childhood home and I am on the living room floor with one of my old friends. My husband is on the sofa watching us talk back and forth. Suddenly I pull all of my hair forward to cover my face and through the thick strands I watch my husband and friend talking. I grow upset because he holds his hand close to hers. I tell my friend I have to go to work but also tell her that she should hang out with my husband to gauge her reaction. She is nonchalant.
Next we are in my childhood home and I am on the living room floor with one of my old friends. My husband is on the sofa watching us talk back and forth. Suddenly I pull all of my hair forward to cover my face and through the thick strands I watch my husband and friend talking. I grow upset because he holds his hand close to hers. I tell my friend I have to go to work but also tell her that she should hang out with my husband to gauge her reaction. She is nonchalant.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
8 is great (kind of)
this just in:
8. I am pregnant and me and my husband go to the doctor to find out the baby's sex. We sit expectantly, the doctor talks to us from inside a medicine/supply closet. as he begins to tell us, I jump with glee, expecting that he will tell us we are having a girl, but he tells us we are having a boy and I am obviously disappointed. I am in disbelief because I was certain we had a girl coming first.
8. I am pregnant and me and my husband go to the doctor to find out the baby's sex. We sit expectantly, the doctor talks to us from inside a medicine/supply closet. as he begins to tell us, I jump with glee, expecting that he will tell us we are having a girl, but he tells us we are having a boy and I am obviously disappointed. I am in disbelief because I was certain we had a girl coming first.
the long and winding list
1. accepted on a wedding show, but the host (Clinton Kelly?) thinks that my wedding planning is perfect, specifically my gown. I think to myself, that's cool, but I want them to buy some fuller flower arrangements.
2. at some resort with group of people I don't know. standing at balcony, bar below; a fight erupts and one man is seriously injured. when I look down again after gaining composure, I see that someone has attached a mop stick to the fallen man and is using his body to wipe around blood on the dark hardwood floor - his open eyes stare blankly above. I manically call out, and people try to calm me by telling me that the man is dead, as if that somehow rationalizes, dignifies the horror.
3. trying to get out of resort. Sinatra is my partner. we run through dark rooms; up and down spiral staircases we trample. outside we try to find a car to get us gone. there is a traffic jam due to a tractor trailer blocking an intersection.
4. I am standing in line waiting for, I don't know what, when a producer approaches me and asks me about modeling. She tells me I am recognizable and I tell her I did print work in NY. we chat further and she offers me a job.
5. at the resort with my friend DS. we arrive under a carport and immediately she changes into swimwear. I walk out to the pool area and know no one. D is off laughing with strangers around a bonfire.
6. I am standing beside a long sidewalk; I watch as a group of young girls and guys meet up and begin to pair off. As they pair up, they walk two-by-two down the sidewalk toward me. I laugh to myself that the couples nearly resemble each other, and that they seemed to have picked a likely version of themselves. Steve Kroft, from 60 Minutes (whose name I had to wikipedia this morning) is walking among the kids interviewing one couple.
7. I am with my husband and I notice that his nose has a long, syringe-like growth on it. Where his normal nose ends, this fine growth continues on, with a tiny bulb at its end; it looks like an antenna, perhaps has those abilities.
2. at some resort with group of people I don't know. standing at balcony, bar below; a fight erupts and one man is seriously injured. when I look down again after gaining composure, I see that someone has attached a mop stick to the fallen man and is using his body to wipe around blood on the dark hardwood floor - his open eyes stare blankly above. I manically call out, and people try to calm me by telling me that the man is dead, as if that somehow rationalizes, dignifies the horror.
3. trying to get out of resort. Sinatra is my partner. we run through dark rooms; up and down spiral staircases we trample. outside we try to find a car to get us gone. there is a traffic jam due to a tractor trailer blocking an intersection.
4. I am standing in line waiting for, I don't know what, when a producer approaches me and asks me about modeling. She tells me I am recognizable and I tell her I did print work in NY. we chat further and she offers me a job.
5. at the resort with my friend DS. we arrive under a carport and immediately she changes into swimwear. I walk out to the pool area and know no one. D is off laughing with strangers around a bonfire.
6. I am standing beside a long sidewalk; I watch as a group of young girls and guys meet up and begin to pair off. As they pair up, they walk two-by-two down the sidewalk toward me. I laugh to myself that the couples nearly resemble each other, and that they seemed to have picked a likely version of themselves. Steve Kroft, from 60 Minutes (whose name I had to wikipedia this morning) is walking among the kids interviewing one couple.
7. I am with my husband and I notice that his nose has a long, syringe-like growth on it. Where his normal nose ends, this fine growth continues on, with a tiny bulb at its end; it looks like an antenna, perhaps has those abilities.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dreaming is Free
Low and behold, I am dreaming, but not able to recall much over the last few nights.
Last night I dreamed I was waiting among a group of family and friends for theatrical show... a handful of performers then comes waddling down a long hall and I recognize one of my students, MG. She excitedly runs to me; I'm smoking and keep trying to hide the cigarette behind my back, but realize the smell of it as well as the smoke rising behind me are dead give-aways. She says nothing. I am then in a large dark parking lot, waiting for family in a big, busted van.
Blah, blah, blah. Not much interesting.
I did have a very disturbing dream a few nights ago, and perhaps I've tricked myself into less memory because of it. I'd rather not share it on this page.
In happier, dreamier news: my husband and I are finally figured on our honeymoon. We'll be headed to Montreal in June. Sometimes it doesn't feel like we are still newlyweds, but indeed we are. We're only three months deep. And it's been a delicious time.
Last night I dreamed I was waiting among a group of family and friends for theatrical show... a handful of performers then comes waddling down a long hall and I recognize one of my students, MG. She excitedly runs to me; I'm smoking and keep trying to hide the cigarette behind my back, but realize the smell of it as well as the smoke rising behind me are dead give-aways. She says nothing. I am then in a large dark parking lot, waiting for family in a big, busted van.
Blah, blah, blah. Not much interesting.
I did have a very disturbing dream a few nights ago, and perhaps I've tricked myself into less memory because of it. I'd rather not share it on this page.
In happier, dreamier news: my husband and I are finally figured on our honeymoon. We'll be headed to Montreal in June. Sometimes it doesn't feel like we are still newlyweds, but indeed we are. We're only three months deep. And it's been a delicious time.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Rambling Barrel
Dreams, dreams, dreams: I was all over the place last night.
In my first remembered bit I showed up looking like a slob to my cousin's wedding. My pants were too big and my blouse was crinkly wrinkled. My cousin was wearing a purple floral dress with nylon running shorts underneath, and felt the need to keep pulling up her skirt and show me.
Another cousin and I were then lost among a crowd of strangers in a backyard. He told me to come with him on errands. We hopped into his car and we were off. He drove his car on a roller coaster track, speeding. I was nervous, also there was no front window/windshield. He was just driving along the track unconcerned, while I melted into a nervous wreck beside him.
In another dream sequence I am late for my first day of work at my summer gig. 10 minutes late and there are families waiting out on the playground in the rain. Luckily (?) my one co-worker showed up early and readied the place and turned off the alarm, but still I worried that I showed an irresponsibility uncommon to me.
I was reheating pizzas with strangers in kitchens I don't recognize. There were many strangers in my dreams too, only three people did I know.
In my first remembered bit I showed up looking like a slob to my cousin's wedding. My pants were too big and my blouse was crinkly wrinkled. My cousin was wearing a purple floral dress with nylon running shorts underneath, and felt the need to keep pulling up her skirt and show me.
Another cousin and I were then lost among a crowd of strangers in a backyard. He told me to come with him on errands. We hopped into his car and we were off. He drove his car on a roller coaster track, speeding. I was nervous, also there was no front window/windshield. He was just driving along the track unconcerned, while I melted into a nervous wreck beside him.
In another dream sequence I am late for my first day of work at my summer gig. 10 minutes late and there are families waiting out on the playground in the rain. Luckily (?) my one co-worker showed up early and readied the place and turned off the alarm, but still I worried that I showed an irresponsibility uncommon to me.
I was reheating pizzas with strangers in kitchens I don't recognize. There were many strangers in my dreams too, only three people did I know.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Fabulous, please
My dreams last night were typical: a rabid dog was growling at me, chewing on me. I was attempting to escape both the dog and its master... a man who I didn't recognize. He was the head of the family in a home where I had sought refuge. I had had to leave my home earlier in the dream due to bad weather and criminal activity (baddies were moving through the neighborhood). I ran and ran, finding a home, seemingly, removed from danger. Inside there was much commtion as to where to hide me, because the daddy was coming home. When finally he arrived I was forced from my hiding place and running down the long gravel drive. That's when the dog happened upon me. Growling and chewing.
I ended up running through backyards, and trying to hide among shrubs. I came upon an apartment building built inside a tree. I stepped inside the door and stood very still, hoping the young female tenants wouldn't notice me and call the police. I then pretended to be one of them, and almost fooled them. Off running again, I found myself inside a kiosk, trying to blend in with the foreign men laughing over coffee and newsprint. Found out again, and my running continues. There is a man who wants to rescue me; I know him only as Canuck.
--------------------------------------
Last night I went to a poetry reading. It was fabulous. Lee Upton was one of the featured poets, as was the local poet Lynnel Jones. Both women were supreme. I was incredibly excited to be offered the chance to read upon the same stage as them. It was a wonderful and warm crowd, and I felt so kindly received. A great evening, and of course, my baby - husband, people have actually asked, "oh, how old is your baby?" "36..." I offer, a bit sheepish - beaming in the audience made it
all the more thrilling and rewarding.
Today/tonight there are more poetry readings at a local literary/music festival. It's so great to move among this crowd.
I ended up running through backyards, and trying to hide among shrubs. I came upon an apartment building built inside a tree. I stepped inside the door and stood very still, hoping the young female tenants wouldn't notice me and call the police. I then pretended to be one of them, and almost fooled them. Off running again, I found myself inside a kiosk, trying to blend in with the foreign men laughing over coffee and newsprint. Found out again, and my running continues. There is a man who wants to rescue me; I know him only as Canuck.
--------------------------------------
Last night I went to a poetry reading. It was fabulous. Lee Upton was one of the featured poets, as was the local poet Lynnel Jones. Both women were supreme. I was incredibly excited to be offered the chance to read upon the same stage as them. It was a wonderful and warm crowd, and I felt so kindly received. A great evening, and of course, my baby - husband, people have actually asked, "oh, how old is your baby?" "36..." I offer, a bit sheepish - beaming in the audience made it
all the more thrilling and rewarding.
Today/tonight there are more poetry readings at a local literary/music festival. It's so great to move among this crowd.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Three Dreams
Rushing to write; me and my baby got a busy day and night ahead.
In the first dream I am with my "family" in a white van. I don't recognize one single person in my family as anyone I've ever known in real life. My father is the driver and I am in the back of the van with a pile of little sisters. We pull up on a farm and our father goes in to see if we are welcome to stay for the night. He returns to tell us to ready for dinner with our hosts. One by one, I ready my little sisters: leotards (lacy white) and tattered frilly dresses. The youngest, no older than two sticks to me, shy and tired. We enter the home and immediately the son and I are attracted to one another. The son just happens to be Joe McIntyre. He is attracted to my way with the babies. And such. Dinner goes on.
As night falls, Joe and I meet up. He takes me for a walk, where we come upon a large ship. Then he takes me below deck and we have sex all night.
Perhaps this next dream is a reaction to the last? My husband and I are attending some kind of meeting. The director from my master's program is there. People are lined up in two rows, sitting. I take the seat on the end in the second row and my husband becomes angry with me because he wants the seat where I am sitting. I refuse. He slithers off to the front row and pouts, and glares at me.
At some point this sequence changes only in faces. My husband and the director kind of disappear and my sister, M appears next to me. Our conversation turns to death, of course. She is saying that we all die alone, and I am becoming very upset. She looks me straight in the face with her bright blue eyes and asks if I know about her death? Does she die alone? break down and tell her that, yes, she does die alone. I go on to tell her that of all the people, places, things in my life I would only change one thing: bring her back to life, even with all of the pain/trouble she had to endure. Just to have her here.
In the first dream I am with my "family" in a white van. I don't recognize one single person in my family as anyone I've ever known in real life. My father is the driver and I am in the back of the van with a pile of little sisters. We pull up on a farm and our father goes in to see if we are welcome to stay for the night. He returns to tell us to ready for dinner with our hosts. One by one, I ready my little sisters: leotards (lacy white) and tattered frilly dresses. The youngest, no older than two sticks to me, shy and tired. We enter the home and immediately the son and I are attracted to one another. The son just happens to be Joe McIntyre. He is attracted to my way with the babies. And such. Dinner goes on.
As night falls, Joe and I meet up. He takes me for a walk, where we come upon a large ship. Then he takes me below deck and we have sex all night.
Perhaps this next dream is a reaction to the last? My husband and I are attending some kind of meeting. The director from my master's program is there. People are lined up in two rows, sitting. I take the seat on the end in the second row and my husband becomes angry with me because he wants the seat where I am sitting. I refuse. He slithers off to the front row and pouts, and glares at me.
At some point this sequence changes only in faces. My husband and the director kind of disappear and my sister, M appears next to me. Our conversation turns to death, of course. She is saying that we all die alone, and I am becoming very upset. She looks me straight in the face with her bright blue eyes and asks if I know about her death? Does she die alone? break down and tell her that, yes, she does die alone. I go on to tell her that of all the people, places, things in my life I would only change one thing: bring her back to life, even with all of the pain/trouble she had to endure. Just to have her here.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Cistern
Hello Fools. I love April Fool's Day. I won't be playing any pranks this year though.
No joke.
Well, I will certainly try not to.
Dream bits:
Wandering around dark neighborhood... there is a carnival, or festival feel to the little town. People are standing around, sitting around - on benches, doorsteps, corners. I am gathering signatures. That's my mission, though I don't know what/who for. I pass by two young men sitting outside of their house a couple of times and they call out to me to have them sign my petition, but I am shy about them. I am worried that they will make fun of my hand, or be weirded out. I go in another direction, but soon find myself back by their house. Finally, I answer their calling. I walk into their kitchen with them and somehow realize these two are brothers. The one I don't know well, and I am certain that he doesn't know about my hand, the other I have been having an affair with. I try to hurry through my rant and gather their signatures so that I can get out of there. The brother who I have been seeing, motions to me that he will be joining me, and hopefully we can sneak off. We leave and begin looking for a place to have sex.
We walk into a church-like building, the office part though. As we are walking in, we can see through a window a man (priest?) walking from one building to this one and we are nervous that we won't be able to find a secret place.
We walk up steps. Lots of steps. At the top, the steps deposit us into a large hallway. It now seems that we are in the school part. Most of the rooms are empty but there is activity in some: Sunday school, lectures. Suddenly, the guy I am with turns into my friend, KTG. She is laughing with the women inside the door and asks one of them if she can have a cookie. There are tables of refreshments set up. One of my cousins appears then too. She is walking down a flight of stairs, coming from the floor above. The three of us begin to walk down the next set of stairs. My friend is getting a kick out of the fact that there is a box of cakes with the Reese's label, but there is no peanut butter, or chocolate in the cake.
She, my cousin, is with an old man when we meet up with her. He is trying to figure out why no one can remember the first word to an old German song. She knows it, "cistern" and starts singing the song. At first her voice sounds lovely: soft and natural, but then she begins to put it on and it sounds terrible. I begin walking away, literally placing my hands over my ears. Later we are being driven home, and in the backseat I try to tell her to tone it down. She smiles at me. I tell her maybe she shouldn't sing such serious songs, that her voice wasn't built for it. She nods and thinks it over. Outside the back window of the car I watch the treetops - there seem to be thousands of them. It's a long ride home.
No joke.
Well, I will certainly try not to.
Dream bits:
Wandering around dark neighborhood... there is a carnival, or festival feel to the little town. People are standing around, sitting around - on benches, doorsteps, corners. I am gathering signatures. That's my mission, though I don't know what/who for. I pass by two young men sitting outside of their house a couple of times and they call out to me to have them sign my petition, but I am shy about them. I am worried that they will make fun of my hand, or be weirded out. I go in another direction, but soon find myself back by their house. Finally, I answer their calling. I walk into their kitchen with them and somehow realize these two are brothers. The one I don't know well, and I am certain that he doesn't know about my hand, the other I have been having an affair with. I try to hurry through my rant and gather their signatures so that I can get out of there. The brother who I have been seeing, motions to me that he will be joining me, and hopefully we can sneak off. We leave and begin looking for a place to have sex.
We walk into a church-like building, the office part though. As we are walking in, we can see through a window a man (priest?) walking from one building to this one and we are nervous that we won't be able to find a secret place.
We walk up steps. Lots of steps. At the top, the steps deposit us into a large hallway. It now seems that we are in the school part. Most of the rooms are empty but there is activity in some: Sunday school, lectures. Suddenly, the guy I am with turns into my friend, KTG. She is laughing with the women inside the door and asks one of them if she can have a cookie. There are tables of refreshments set up. One of my cousins appears then too. She is walking down a flight of stairs, coming from the floor above. The three of us begin to walk down the next set of stairs. My friend is getting a kick out of the fact that there is a box of cakes with the Reese's label, but there is no peanut butter, or chocolate in the cake.
She, my cousin, is with an old man when we meet up with her. He is trying to figure out why no one can remember the first word to an old German song. She knows it, "cistern" and starts singing the song. At first her voice sounds lovely: soft and natural, but then she begins to put it on and it sounds terrible. I begin walking away, literally placing my hands over my ears. Later we are being driven home, and in the backseat I try to tell her to tone it down. She smiles at me. I tell her maybe she shouldn't sing such serious songs, that her voice wasn't built for it. She nods and thinks it over. Outside the back window of the car I watch the treetops - there seem to be thousands of them. It's a long ride home.
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